The Quest for Acceptance

Diversity of any kind is an important quality of any community and I strongly agree that its imperative to have different perspectives of life, but what happens when your own view of yourself becomes lost and distorted in a wave of loneliness and rejection from all walks of life. Since I can remember I have always face and dealt with the quest for acceptance. I have to admit that the past 14 years of my life have been a very uneasy journey internally for me! Some days I come home questioning and wondering why am I here? Why can't I imagine myself letting go of this judgmental and cruel world? Why do I find it hard for me to love myself? Why do find it hard to live and breathe and to step out as an individual? Im tired of being the door mat! Im tired of giving my all when all I get in return is a slap in the face and a kick in the ass. Im tired of not having a voice when I need it! Im tired of hiding my true feelings because I know mainstream Black America cant deal! Im tired of being tired and Im reaching out for help but all I see is tears blurring my vision, blurring my dreams, blurring my problem solver! I will continue walking on my quest for acceptance, hell I already walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep and I will walk a million more until I find out what this shit means!!!! But hopefully I wont be walking all my life!