Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hold On... You Will Be Strong

Wow! Its been a while since I have even thought about posting another blog on here. Some where in the midst of my trails and tribulations, Music From The Heart kind of fell to the wayside. But today, May 4, 2011 at 1:30pm; something compelled me to to open my heart and to let it flow. As I sit here and type I feel better already knowing that, first I have taken my worries to the Lord and left them at the alter. And secondly, that by sharing I feel some healing.

I am 6 days shy of having been laid-off, 8 months ago from what I thought was greener pastures. 8 months ago if you would have told me that things were going to play out like this, I wouldn't believed you but like the old time saying goes: "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." Many know and have heard my stories about teaching in DC Public Schools, especially my adventures of teaching alternative teenagers. The hills and valleys were a learning experience but I never thought that I would ever be laid-off; me, the winner of an Excellence in First Year teaching award. That made me think that I was immune to being laid-off. WRONG! Hardship and gray seasons, knows everyone's name.

So after packing up my classroom after what I thought would be a better school year than the one before, I received a measly severance pay and quickly filed for unemployment. My severance pay covered my September bills and a few of October's but I needed a plan of action to sustain myself. Unemployment was taking their sweet ass time and I had began my search for another job. I wanted to stay in the education field so I applied everywhere that was education-related. No luck. October rolled by and November was knocking, I had not received unemployment nor did I find a job.

I started doing little side hustles and got a little coins here and there but not enough to cover an almost $1000 rent, car note, car insurance, and some other miscellaneous bills. I was running low on food so I decide to apply for food stamps. I continued to wait for some help to pay my bills mainly my rent. My parents really couldn't help me, they had their own affairs to handle. I prayed and prayed, cried, prayed and tried to stay encouraged. Finally a week before Thanksgiving there sitting in my mailbox was a check from the unemployment office that could cover my rent and then some for 2 months (Talk about He may not come when you want Him, but He'll be there right on time).

I was able to hustle and get some of my bills placed in hardship crisis which bought me some time. Daily I would get up pray, read the Bible, and look for jobs. I would do some volunteering here and there, as well as a few side gigs. But I was still coming up short. I received my first eviction notice 15 days before Christmas. (Merry Christmas) I tried to be optimistic on the outside but inside I was a wreck. But always remember the Lord will never leave or forsake you. My rent was paid 6 days before Christmas.

This pattern of stressing and worrying mixed and matched with blessing and favor continued even till now. Since I had some bad experiences with teaching, I decided that maybe I should try and purse something different. My mother had hounded me to go to med school but I knew deep down that it wasn't for me, but I pursed it anyway. I enrolled in a Masters program at Georgetown University School of Medicine to get a glimpse of what the M.D. program would be like. I hated it!! But it did give me something to do to pass time, until it started becoming a burden and stressing me out.

Around the time I started at Georgetown, my food stamps had been reduced to $16 a month and most of my unemployment went to my bills. I had a bad break up with my than boyfriend. I also ran into some legal troubles and that added a new mix to my already complicated existence. Also my relationship with my mother was becoming more and more strained and I had also received my second eviction notice. Things were just not going well. But I still maintained and kept my faith.

Than it happened. I was running myself into the ground. I wasn't eating because I was able to go grocery shopping, the stress of taking 15 credit in a science masters was getting to me, on top of trying to find a job, hustle to pay bills, and then I got sick with no health insurance (Great)! I felt alone, discourage, and forsaken. You try to seek encouragement for your friends, but they can only do so much because they really don't know what you're going through. My parents understood but they are over 350 miles away. So I just broke down one night and the Lord saw and hear my tears. I was a complete wreck.

However in the midst of my trails and tribulations, the Lord has blessed me and kept me. Although it has been very hard I still have a roof over my head. I have gone days even weeks with no food but I still have been fed. I have great connections that have allowed me to take some breaks and go to an opera and a play for free. Everything I needed, the Lord has supplied it. It's May 4, 2011, and I am 6 days away from being unemployed for 8 months but after 215 job applications, 6 odd and end hustle jobs, a lapse in my unemployment, bill collectors, eviction notices, and some headaches, I am 42 days away from starting a new position at a charter school as a middle school science teacher where my salary is $10,000 more than my last job. They are also planning to pay for me to go get my masters in Curriculum and Instruction which will help in my career goals. And remember, those legal problems, God is so good that He had them dismissed from court.

I don't know who I might be talking to or who has endured or going through the same or similar trails. I am not a preacher or a prophet, I am just a witness and believer in the living God. I have a testimony. And although I may not be out of the forest just yet, I know that I have been through too much not to worship Him and trust in Him to carry me all the way. I still get discourage and down. I have cried more tears that I have ever had. But, (and thank God for the but) I know that if you hold on, be patient, and faithful, God will be more than faithful to you. My test, my trails, my struggles, have made me an even stronger Christian and an even stronger man. I have learned invaluable lessons that no textbook could teach or no preacher can preach.

Stay encouraged, have faith, and believe you will overcome. The human race have been overcoming and surviving for centuries. Hold on... You Will be Strong.

Now that's music from the heart.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Ujamaa- Cooperative Economics


You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you.
- Maya Angelou



Cooperative economics is to build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses, and to profit from them collectively.
We as a community should pride ourselves in building wealth that will benefit the greater good.
As a community, we should invest in a solid foundation of education, healthcare, and agriculture.
With our investments in these areas, hopefully we will be able to build job security, quality over quantity, reassurance in the abilities of our people, and overall restore our faith in each and ourselves.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Ujima- Collective Work & Responsibility

Responsibility is the price for greatness.
-Winston Churchill


Collective work and responsibility, the power of many helps to build and maintain our community! We are responsible and accountable for not only our own individual actions but as a whole community, for we are a collective unit.
We take our neighbor's problems and make them our problems, in order to reach a positive solution.
In an era that prides itself on individuality, we have forgotten that unity builds a community and that that same unity is the very foundation in which our families, churches, and nations are formed upon.
On this night we are responsible for committing ourselves and holding each other accountable for striving towards a stronger community and race equipped to handle an ever-changing society.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Touching Story


Unconditional love is hard to find nowadays but its out there. Summer 2008 Padma Soundararajan lost her mother, father, and her two teenage sisters to a head-on car accident in India during a family visit. Padma now 30 placed her life on hold to care for her two brothers, one with autism and the other one who has serve cerebral palsy. Rather than to abandon her brothers and leave them in the care of others, Padma has taken on being the second mother. Although it is not easy, with the help of friends and neighbors, coupled with a strong love for family; The Soundararajans are living and thriving well in southern Maryland. Read the this touching story by following the link:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/26/AR2009122601742.html?hpid=dynamiclead


Kujichagulia- Self-Determination

See first that the design is wise and just; that ascertained, purse it resolutely.
- William Shakespeare



Self-determination means to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.
We are accountable for speaking over our own reality, for uplifting our spirit to achieve!
God gave us a name, it is up to us to define what that name will mean in this world.
It is our duty to make known unto ourselves, our niche, in our family, community, and race.
Today we need reflect on our defining mark in this world and plan accordingly for the upcoming year.
How are we perceived? How do we want to be perceived?
What will we do to create the image we envision for ourselves and our children?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Man of the Week





This dark-chocolate man of the week is Atlanta Falcons Fullback Ovie Mughelli

Umoja- Unity

The Strongest bond of human Sympathy outside the family relation, should be one uniting working people of all nations, tongues, and kindreds.
-Abraham Lincoln




We should strive for and maintain unity within our family, community, nation, and race.
On this night we celebrate the commitments that we have made to those that will not only strengthen them, but more importantly, our own individual selves.
Tonight, we should renew our commitment to build a stronger people and a stronger nation! This year especially we have forgot that we cannot do everything by ourselves! Divided we achieve nothing and in the end all we do is hurt ourselves.
Tonight let us reflect on the unity which moved our ancestors from the valleys of despair to the mountain tops of glory.
Let us remember the power that we have together as one to slay the giants of poverty, homelessness, HIV/AIDS, abuse, molestation, rape, despair, poor education, and prejudice.
Let bind in unity to achieve!